by Max Barry

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Most Inclusive: 1,114th Most Compassionate Citizens: 1,130th Nicest Citizens: 1,229th
The Protectorate of
Left-wing Utopia
Happiness and prosperity live here
Civil Rights
World Benchmark
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.192 billion



The Protectorate of Teshlon is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its keen interest in outer space, unlimited-speed roads, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 2.192 billion Teshlonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heshbon. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Teshlonian economy, worth 344 trillion UniTokens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 157,193 UniTokens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds, there is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality, and bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls. Crime is totally unknown. Teshlon's national animal is the Peacock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Teshlon is ranked 13,072nd in the world and 634th in The North Pacific for Most Income Equality, scoring 79.33 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Most Inclusive: 1,114thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,130thNicest Citizens: 1,229thMost Pacifist: 1,598thTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 1,843rdLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,858thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,876thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,927thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,252ndSafest: 2,408thMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,439thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,589thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,869thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,999thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,554thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,723rdHighest Poor Incomes: 3,789thLargest Governments: 3,888thMost Developed: 3,964thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,004thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,252ndMost Beautiful Environments: 4,384thMost Cultured: 4,992ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,291stLargest Publishing Industry: 5,431stSmartest Citizens: 5,521stBest Weather: 5,598thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,132ndRudest Citizens: 6,156thMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,524thTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 10,003rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 10,101stMost Efficient Economies: 10,498thHighest Average Incomes: 11,092ndNudest: 12,909thMost Income Equality: 13,072ndMost Politically Free: 14,523rdHighest Drug Use: 15,876th
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 65th in the regionMost Inclusive: 71st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 72nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 76th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 88th in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 91st in the regionMost Pacifist: 92nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 94th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 106th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 112th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 114th in the regionSafest: 124th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 125th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 130th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 132nd in the regionLargest Governments: 183rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 183rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 193rd in the regionMost Developed: 228th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 236th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 241st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 246th in the regionMost Cultured: 250th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 262nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 286th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 302nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 305th in the regionBest Weather: 308th in the regionRudest Citizens: 333rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 376th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 390th in the regionNudest: 405th in the regionTop
Most Politically Free: 479th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 499th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 520th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 524th in the regionMost Income Equality: 634th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 646th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls.
  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, there is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality.
  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds.
  • : Teshlon's influence in The North Pacific rose from "Newcomer" to "Nipper".
  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed.
  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices.
  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.
  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination".
  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators.
  • : Following new legislation in Teshlon, Leader's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week.


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