by Max Barry

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Most Secular: 3,042ndMost Influential: 5,115thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,902nd
The Greater State of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Telonovia, Land of gold, power, and unity
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Rare
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Telonovia

Population2.288 billion

CapitalLomania
LeaderMarshal Zelista Horken
FaithAtheism

CurrencyTelonovian Stalisia
AnimalPanther

The Greater State of Telonovia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Marshal Zelista Horken with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 2.288 billion Telonovians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lomania. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 58.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Telonovian economy, worth 315 trillion Telonovian Stalisias a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 137,950 Telonovian Stalisias, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 553,734 per year while the poor average 23,029, a ratio of 24.0 to 1.

Criminals are really screwed, major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day, neighbourhood gossips whip up controversy about those receiving adult merchandise, and economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telonovia's national animal is the Panther, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Telonovia is ranked 247,425th in the world and 9,543rd in the South Pacific for Least Corrupt Governments, with 51.2 percentage of bribes refused.

Top
5%
Most Secular: 3,042ndMost Influential: 5,115thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,902ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,365thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7,340thMost Patriotic: 7,508thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,320thLargest Mining Sector: 8,934thLargest Retail Industry: 9,224thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,265thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 12,133rdTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 16,102ndFattest Citizens: 16,314thMost Efficient Economies: 17,937thHighest Average Incomes: 18,860thLargest Black Market: 20,124thMost Advanced Public Transport: 23,426thLowest Crime Rates: 23,652ndMost Subsidized Industry: 23,899th
Top
1%
Most Secular: 89th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 134th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 150th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 164th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 172nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 174th in the regionMost Patriotic: 175th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 238th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 264th in the regionLargest Black Market: 276th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 300th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 328th in the regionFattest Citizens: 348th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 444th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 465th in the regionTop
10%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 520th in the regionMost Influential: 544th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 549th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 633rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 664th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 684th in the regionLargest Governments: 730th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 866th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 878th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 878th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 881st in the regionMost Developed: 887th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation.
  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, neighbourhood gossips whip up controversy about those receiving adult merchandise.
  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day.
  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, criminals are really screwed.
  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, the police crack down on tax evaders without mercy.
  • : Telonovia was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Fattest Citizens and Largest Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, tumbleweeds made of litter adorn city streets.
  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, the end of autumn is celebrated with a bonfire of designer bags.
  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, Telonovia is increasingly belligerent on the international stage.
  • : Following new legislation in Telonovia, Telonovian athletes are close to breaking the 2 minute mile and the 16 meter long jump.

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