The Community of Telgan Alpha is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by RuPaul with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, unlimited-speed roads, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.425 billion Telgan Alphans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Werk Room. The average income tax rate is 71.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Telgan Alphan economy, worth 104 trillion RuPeter Badges a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 73,430 RuPeter Badges, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The army lures cannon fodder with promises of a college education, the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass", houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime is totally unknown. Telgan Alpha's national animal is the Queens, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ruanism.

Telgan Alpha is ranked 244,773^rd in the world and 336^th in Philosophers for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens, with 33.44 Whatever.