The Kingdom of Tehmistan is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by king tehmithy with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, rampant corporate plagiarism, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.203 billion tehmies are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Otterapolis. The average income tax rate is 87.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Tehmistanian economy, worth 229 trillion foreskins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 104,368 foreskins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

King tehmithy has been nicknamed 'Robomop', the government subsidizes everything from particle physics to fabric softeners, Tehmistanian tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation, and dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tehmistan's national animal is the Otter, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Tehmistan is ranked 257,463^rd in the world and 13,351^st in The North Pacific for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.78 crimes per hour.