The Kingdom of Tarvelia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Lev Paternon with a fair hand, and notable for its triple-decker prams, keen interest in outer space, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 11.862 billion Tarvelians are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Séljeved. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.4%.

The all-consuming Tarvelian economy, worth a remarkable 1,307 trillion Kvens a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,244 Kvens, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's mettle is about to be tested, rural Tarvelians stare in awe at the bright lights of the big cities, recent events have left citizens both shaken and stirred, and corporations have to consult a fifty-page "sanctions spreadsheet" to determine which countries they are allowed to do business with. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Tarvelia's national animal is the Hooded Crow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Church of Tarvelia.

Tarvelia is ranked 139,079^th in the world and 70^th in Right to Life for Smartest Citizens, with 28.15 quips per hour.