The Kingdom of Tarvelia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Lev Patérnon with a fair hand, and renowned for its public floggings, aversion to nipples, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 8.263 billion Tarvelians are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Séljeved. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.5%.

The all-consuming Tarvelian economy, worth 921 trillion Kvens a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 111,508 Kvens, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 317,442 per year while the poor average 31,251, a ratio of 10.2 to 1.

Military officers are given medals for disobeying orders, theatre may or may not be changing for the better but it is being changed for good, trade deals are born to the sound of a royal woman's anguished screams, and the nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Tarvelia's national animal is the Hooded Crow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Tarvelia.

Tarvelia is ranked 71,651^st in the world and 38^th in Right to Life for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 2,755.49 on the Hickory Productivity Index.