The Free Land of Talamia is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Solionj Divenantio with a fair hand, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, daily referendums, and prohibition of alcohol. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.464 billion Talamians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Environment, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Clinepalas. The average income tax rate is 76.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Talamian economy, worth 105 trillion Crematas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 71,737 Crematas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students, when people ask what the difference is between politicians and lawyers they are referred to document c15(iv) section 14.1 subsection 3.2 of the Jan 2015 political category definition guidance codes, polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums, and politicians bribe ten-year-old geniuses to sit their aptitude tests. Crime is totally unknown. Talamia's national animal is the Hoopoe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Talamia is ranked 50,760^th in the world and 141^st in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring zero on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.