The Empire of Talamh na Cailleach is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Prince Oisin with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 3.805 billion Tallans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Serenity. The average income tax rate is 66.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Talamh na Cailleachian economy, worth 250 trillion kronor a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 65,908 kronor, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prince Oisin has just been declared ruler of Talamh na Cailleach in an international press conference, business meetings across the country are interrupted by the sound of squeaking whoopee-cushions, the nation's apology for those it has executed in the last year has come a little late for some, and notable individuals are granted land and titles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Talamh na Cailleach's national animal is the cobra, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sadrid.

Talamh na Cailleach is ranked 32,756^th in the world and 1,026^th in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 1,664.43 on the Societal Mobility Rating.