The Constitutional Monarchy of Swoniland is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Ed with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.349 billion Swonians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Swon City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 32.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Swonilandian economy, worth 219 trillion Swonian Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 162,771 Swonian Dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 789,086 per year while the poor average 19,435, a ratio of 40.6 to 1.

The tools of the trade for landmine clearance appear to be copious amounts of gasoline and a box of matches, the Swoniland Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears, and lip-readers are often left perplexed by political rallies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Swoniland's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Raj Reviews.

Swoniland is ranked 298,594^th in the world and 873^rd in United Kingdom for Most Beautiful Environments, with 5.7 pounds of wildlife per square mile.