The Dictatorship of Swiftvale is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its prohibition of alcohol, public floggings, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 314 million Swifties are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Era City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.9%.

The powerhouse Swiftvalean economy, worth 38.9 trillion Carbon Credits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 123,987 Carbon Credits, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 451,621 per year while the poor average 24,194, a ratio of 18.7 to 1.

Dessert dishes make up the Swiftvalean breakfast menu, the government is reining in public spending, military spending recently hit a new high, and birth rates have hit an all-time low. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Swiftvale's national animal is the Travis Kelce, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Swiftvale is ranked 28,852^nd in the world and 9^th in Land of Faceplace for Most Conservative, scoring 81.5 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.