The Lands of Sweden Kard is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Kardew Robinson with a fair hand, and notable for its lack of airports, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.701 billion Sweden Kardians enjoy great social freedoms and frequent elections, where the majority of the populace regularly votes to increase its benefits at the expense of various hapless minorities.

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astley. The average income tax rate is 59.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Sweden Kardian economy, worth 289 trillion Ricks a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 29,860 Ricks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government officials raid public buildings to remove all mention of G*d or r******n, "Idol-Worship for the Apathetic" workshops are cancelled when no-one bothers to show up, local mafias have a tough time disposing of dead snitches without catching the attention of recycling authorities, and ancestry test results arrive bundled with patent applications. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sweden Kard's national animal is the penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Optional.

Sweden Kard is ranked 177,568^th in the world and 7^th in Guinea Kiribati for Most Patriotic, with 8.22 flags saluted per person per day.