The United Socialist States of Svetlakia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and daily referendums. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 15.942 billion Svetlakians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Defense and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Herzberg. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Svetlakian economy, worth a remarkable 2,709 trillion credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 169,972 credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Workers of "fairweather faith" claim six months of paid leave for holy days per year, politicians spend more time in courtrooms than in Parliament, parents dread their examinations more than their children, and students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. Crime is totally unknown. Svetlakia's national animal is the cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Svetlakia is ranked 7,089^th in the world and 438^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 108.18 law-abiding acts per hour.