The Environmental Protectorate of Steenia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Cretor Lamjack with an even hand, and notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, aversion to nipples, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 28.165 billion Steenians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Willowsburg. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but underdeveloped Steenian economy, worth a remarkable 3,846 trillion slapsticks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 136,564 slapsticks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Expensive lawyers are hired to defend citizens in court for public urination charges against their pets, elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates, artists are pillars of society, and the number of students attending university has reached a record high. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Steenia's national animal is the flying squirrel, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Steenia is ranked 88^th in the world and 1^st in Futaba Aoi for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 180.27 on the Kitten Softness Rating.