The Imperial Augustan Abbey of Stavelot-Malmedy is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Prince-Abbot Erasmus with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, daily referendums, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 21.241 billion Malmedyians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Healthcare, and Defense also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stavelot. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Stavelot-Malmedyian economy, worth a remarkable 2,107 trillion Francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is 99,236 Francs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 677,785 per year while the poor average 5,258, a ratio of 128 to 1.

The nation leads Grand Central in per capita stalking, billions of Francs are being blown on orbital weapons development, prison visits increase substantially during election years, and glittering new sports stadiums adorn every city and town. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Stavelot-Malmedy's national animal is the Mountain Falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Stavelot-Malmedy is ranked 263,209^th in the world and 10^th in Grand Central for Most Patriotic, with 0.62 flags saluted per person per day.