The Democratic Republic of Spartalina is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 634 million Spartalinans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Spartopolis. The average income tax rate is 23.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Spartalinan economy, worth 32.7 trillion Valdins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Trout Farming. Average income is 51,638 Valdins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Gossip magazines are more interested in astrological stars than celebrity ones, badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game, immersive video game experiences are interrupted by incessant disclaimer pop-ups, and there's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Spartalina's national animal is the Griffin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Spartalina is ranked 46,847^th in the world and 2,590^th in Osiris for Most Cultured, scoring 72 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.