The Socialist Republics of Sovietsoyuz is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Mikhail Gorbachev with an even hand, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, keen interest in outer space, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 2.66 billion Sovietsoyuzians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moskua. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.5%.

The frighteningly efficient zaSovietsoyuz economy, worth 284 trillion rubles a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 106,929 rubles, with the richest citizens earning 9.6 times as much as the poorest.

Mikhail Gorbachev's handshakes with opposition leaders usually lead to thumb wars, citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns, white strait-jackets are the new orange jumpsuits, and the red star of communism has been replaced by the gold star of the McRonald's badge. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sovietsoyuz's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Sovietsoyuz is ranked 134,699^th in the world and 4,545^th in The East Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 59.6 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.