The Constitutional Monarchy of South St Maarten is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its smutty television, triple-decker prams, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 9.324 billion Maartenians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous, liberal government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Amsterdam. The average income tax rate is 79.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Maartenian economy, worth 867 trillion Dinis a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 93,006 Dinis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Maartenians submit requests for a date in writing with an enclosed RSVP card, the Cardinal is protected from hunting and slowly coming back from the brink of extinction, all the playground's a stage for Maartenian schoolchildren, and a traveller who once stubbed a toe on an Air Brancaland flight has been offered asylum. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. South St Maarten's national animal is the Cardinal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Dutch Reformed Protestant.

South St Maarten is ranked 144,237^th in the world and 747^th in Europe for Most Corrupt Governments, with 1.44 kickbacks per hour.