The Department of Somme is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Philippe de Mester with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 24.951 billion Samariens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Amiens. The average income tax rate is 36.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Samarien economy, worth 899 trillion francs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 36,036 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams, Samariens seem to be catching more chills, the government loves seeing the little people fight, and roosters that herald the rising sun are immediately sent to the slaughterhouse. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Somme's national animal is the vulture, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Somme is ranked 262,728^th in the world and 64^th in Department Store for Most Patriotic, with 4.5 flags saluted per person per day.