by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 211thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 270thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 344th
The Commonwealth of
Left-wing Utopia
Power to All People
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Socialist Columbia

Population7.299 billion

CapitalDouglass City
LeaderPresident Godfrey


The Commonwealth of Socialist Columbia is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by President Godfrey with a fair hand, and renowned for its national health service, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.299 billion Commonwealthers are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Douglass City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Columbian economy, worth a remarkable 1,399 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 191,694 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Referenda are held for every conceivable government action, the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, power stations shutting down at night has made bedtime reading tricky, and left-wing militias train children how to properly burn down banks. Crime is totally unknown. Socialist Columbia's national animal is the cardinal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Socialist Columbia is ranked 832nd in the world and 12th in The Leftist Assembly for Least Corrupt Governments, with 97.55 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.

Largest Welfare Programs: 211thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 270thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 344thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 409thMost Compassionate Citizens: 479thNicest Citizens: 503rdMost Inclusive: 558thHighest Average Tax Rates: 743rdMost Pacifist: 763rdBest Weather: 779thLeast Corrupt Governments: 832ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 836thMost Advanced Public Education: 845thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 863rdMost Beautiful Environments: 889thMost Developed: 892ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 935thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 984thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,056thLargest Governments: 1,101stHealthiest Citizens: 1,317thMost Influential: 1,526thMost Cultured: 2,092ndTop
Smartest Citizens: 2,615thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,829thSafest: 2,902ndHighest Poor Incomes: 2,938thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,235thLowest Crime Rates: 3,524thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,643rdMost Efficient Economies: 6,079thLargest Publishing Industry: 7,011thHighest Average Incomes: 7,508thMost Scientifically Advanced: 10,613thMost Secular: 10,683rdTop
Highest Economic Output: 12,585thMost Income Equality: 19,284th
Largest Welfare Programs: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4th in the regionTop
Most Compassionate Citizens: 8th in the regionNicest Citizens: 8th in the regionBest Weather: 8th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 9th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Pacifist: 10th in the regionMost Inclusive: 10th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 11th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12th in the regionLargest Governments: 12th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 12th in the regionMost Cultured: 13th in the regionMost Developed: 15th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 15th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 15th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 15th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 16th in the regionMost Influential: 18th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 19th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 21st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 24th in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 25th in the regionSafest: 27th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 28th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 31st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 33rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 33rd in the regionMost Stationary: 35th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 45th in the regionLargest Populations: 47th in the region

National Happenings

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