by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 291st Largest Welfare Programs: 400th Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 442nd
The Commonwealth of
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
Life, Liberty, and Justice for All
Influence
Vassal
Civil Rights
Superb
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Excellent

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Socialist Columbia

Population4.131 billion

CapitalDouglass
LeaderPresident Godfrey

Currencydollar
Animalcardinal

The Commonwealth of Socialist Columbia is a massive, genial nation, ruled by President Godfrey with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, avant-garde cinema, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 4.131 billion Columbians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Douglass. The average income tax rate is 99.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Columbian economy, worth 704 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 170,595 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Airplanes have giant grilles on their noses to knock drones out of their path, the government spends millions of dollars every year prosecuting spammers, RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept, and the standardised national curriculum requires that all-male classes be taught why they have periods. Crime is totally unknown. Socialist Columbia's national animal is the cardinal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Socialist Columbia is ranked 27,525th in the world and 128th in The Leftist Assembly for Highest Drug Use, scoring 94.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Top
1%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 291stLargest Welfare Programs: 400thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 442ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 702ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 720thNicest Citizens: 753rdMost Inclusive: 838thMost Advanced Public Transport: 910thMost Pacifist: 1,068thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,071stMost Advanced Public Education: 1,150thLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,222ndBest Weather: 1,269thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,283rdMost Developed: 1,344thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,417thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,443rdTop
5%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,575thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,595thLargest Governments: 1,606thHealthiest Citizens: 2,053rdMost Subsidized Industry: 2,357thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,727thMost Cultured: 3,209thSmartest Citizens: 3,702ndSafest: 4,152ndLargest Publishing Industry: 4,758thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,841stLowest Crime Rates: 5,130thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,154thMost Efficient Economies: 5,424thMost Influential: 6,403rdTop
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 8,891stMost Income Equality: 9,649thMost Secular: 11,227thMost Scientifically Advanced: 13,718th
Top
1%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 3rd in the regionNicest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 4th in the regionTop
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 6th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Inclusive: 6th in the regionBest Weather: 6th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 8th in the regionMost Pacifist: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 8th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 9th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 9th in the regionMost Developed: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 9th in the regionLargest Governments: 10th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 10th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 11th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 12th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 13th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 14th in the regionMost Cultured: 15th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 18th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 20th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 20th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 21st in the regionTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 24th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 25th in the regionMost Influential: 25th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 25th in the regionSafest: 27th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 42nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Columbia, the standardised national curriculum requires that all-male classes be taught why they have periods.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Columbia, RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Columbia, the government spends millions of dollars every year prosecuting spammers.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Columbia, airplanes have giant grilles on their noses to knock drones out of their path.
  • : Socialist Columbia withdrew its endorsement from The Cryptocracy of The Final Horseman.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Columbia, the banshee wail foretells skies of death.
  • : Socialist Columbia endorsed The People's Republic of United Vegan Communes.
  • : Socialist Columbia voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Forced Sterilisation".
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Columbia, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Columbia, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes.

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