The Church of Slongs is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The great Dong with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, complete lack of prisons, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed population of 2.572 billion Slongsians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kongo. The average income tax rate is 35.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Slongsian economy, worth 197 trillion marks a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 76,667 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Traffic tickets are punishable by 9000 push-ups, lavish state dinners in Kongo are the state's leading budgetary expenditure, the backs of 'No Trespassing' signs were made for you and me, and foreign nationals are widely distrusted. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slongs's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bellringing.

Slongs is ranked 141,893^rd in the world and 6,095^th in The East Pacific for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring -4.75 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.