The United States of Settentrionalia is a very large, socially progressive nation, renowned for its daily referendums and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 104 million Settentrionalians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.5%.

The thriving Settentrionalian economy, worth 8.26 trillion Starlinas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 79,432 Starlinas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 277,315 per year while the poor average 16,548, a ratio of 16.8 to 1.

Councils up and down the country wrangle over legal matters, sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors, foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security, and Jennifer Government is a bestseller. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Settentrionalia's national animal is the Blue dragon of imparia, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Settentrionalia is ranked 160,448^th in the world and 4,286^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -48.48 on the Scary Big Number Scale.