by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 2,258thMost Devout: 3,969thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,990th
The Second Best Colony of
Moralistic Democracy
2
Noah
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Second Best Puppet 95

Population6.558 billion

LeaderNoah

Currencycard
Animallegendary

The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 95 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, ritual sacrifices, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.558 billion Second Best Puppet 95ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 85.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 95ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,110 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 169,308 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Maritime signalling has become tedious since only the Second Best Puppet 95ian flag can be displayed, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, octogenarian models insist that they've still got it, and female restaurant chefs are not allowed to have male customers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 95's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 95 is ranked 102,922nd in the world and 1,548th in Two for Most Stationary, with 414.0194919718 days.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 2,258thTop
5%
Most Devout: 3,969thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,990thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,447thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,508thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,569thLargest Insurance Industry: 6,706thFattest Citizens: 7,544thNudest: 7,800thMost Efficient Economies: 8,386thRudest Citizens: 9,067thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,757thLargest Black Market: 10,373rdMost Cultured: 11,282ndLowest Crime Rates: 11,855thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 12,165thLargest Governments: 13,286thHighest Average Tax Rates: 14,137thLargest Mining Sector: 14,588thTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Education: 15,744thHighest Average Incomes: 16,190thLargest Welfare Programs: 17,846thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 20,783rdHighest Poor Incomes: 22,475thLargest Publishing Industry: 22,498thMost Developed: 22,671stHighest Economic Output: 26,302ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 26,629thMost Conservative: 28,034th
Top
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 40th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 137th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 192nd in the regionLargest Populations: 224th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Second Best Puppet 95 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, female restaurant chefs are not allowed to have male customers.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, octogenarian models insist that they've still got it.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, maritime signalling has become tedious since only the Second Best Puppet 95ian flag can be displayed.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, the comic book series 'Noah and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, woke teenagers spontaneously burst into tears when thinking about the world's woes.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, many believe that Noah's head is big enough for the sun to orbit around it.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, the nation's hospitals are criticized for caring more about profits than patients.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 95, royalist is the most offensive slur in the Second Best Puppet 95ian language.

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