The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 78 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, aversion to nipples, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.345 billion Second Best Puppet 78ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 87.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 78ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,797 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Information Technology, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 215,348 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

The roads are virtually falling apart, nothing is more offensive than being inoffensive, garden stores are not allowed to sell water butts, and Noah has a wardrobe full of fake designer suits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 78's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 78 is ranked 7,189^th in the world and 132^nd in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 108.23 law-abiding acts per hour.