The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 77 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.735 billion Second Best Puppet 77ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. The average income tax rate is 91.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 77ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,313 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 195,038 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

EpiPen sales have skyrocketed, the moral worth of national allies is judged by their GDP, the military has declared war on all religious influence, and explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 77's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 77 is ranked 12,210^th in the world and 365^th in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 97.5 law-abiding acts per hour.