The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 70 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, free-roaming dinosaurs, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 8.319 billion Second Best Puppet 70ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 80.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 70ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,705 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 204,988 cards, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 880,966 per year while the poor average 30,481, a ratio of 28.9 to 1.

Clergy never mention brand names for fear of losing their government subsidies, the fire protection service is wholly government-funded, new regulations have put a halt to monkey business, and whales in captivity live in little more than glorified goldfish bowls. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 70's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 70 is ranked 7,626^th in the world and 148^th in Two for Largest Black Market, with 905 trillion Standard Monetary Units.