The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 50 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and renowned for its parental licensing program, aversion to nipples, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 8.342 billion Second Best Puppet 50ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 91.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 50ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,649 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 197,715 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, the media seems excessively interested in what Noah is wearing this season, concert pianists lie about their occupation to avoid ridicule, and family bonding sessions are considered immoral and are banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 50's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 50 is ranked 28,477^th in the world and 1,201^st in Two for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 4,367.3 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.