The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 116 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 6.573 billion Second Best Puppet 116ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 116ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,111 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 169,124 cards, with the richest citizens earning 8.2 times as much as the poorest.

Doctors prescribe medicines produced by the last pharmaceutical company to give them a free pen, bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls, bizarre-looking creatures called 'legendarydogs' dominate wildlife preserves, and children's books regularly feature formerly distressed damsels suing their princes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 116's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 116 is ranked 21,362^nd in the world and 1,550^th in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.6 law-abiding acts per hour.