The Commonwealth of Screwedlandia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Some Dumbass with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.631 billion Screwedlandians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hell. The average income tax rate is 92.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Screwedlandian economy, worth 546 trillion guilders a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 117,914 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Any secret that gets off someone's chest is promptly replaced, the right school tie opens more doors than the right qualification, the average video game can be completed over lunch break, and this summer's chart-toppers sound almost the same as last year's. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Screwedlandia's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Screwedlandia is ranked 283,347^th in the world and 111^th in Equiterra for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 8,843.6 Standard Monetary Units.