by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 577thLowest Crime Rates: 1,872ndMost Secular: 2,493rd
The Yer Maws Holiday Home of
Left-wing Utopia
Alba gu brąth!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

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Scottish Socialists

Population8.22 billion

LeaderGeneral Chairman Fraser McDougall


The Yer Maws Holiday Home of Scottish Socialists is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by General Chairman Fraser McDougall with a fair hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, daily referendums, and punitive income tax rates. The democratic, humorless population of 8.22 billion Scotsmen are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Edinburgh. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Scottish economy, worth a remarkable 1,476 trillion quid a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 179,581 quid, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

You're never too young to learn how to lie with confidence, class clowns are frequently listed among the most dangerous criminals in the nation, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", and romantic sunsets are no longer interrupted by explosions and monstrous roars. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Scottish Socialists's national animal is the unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Communism.

Scottish Socialists is ranked 81,157th in the world and 33rd in Wintercrest for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 2,347.37 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 577thLowest Crime Rates: 1,872ndTop
Most Secular: 2,493rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,715thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,848thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,213thMost Developed: 3,346thLargest Governments: 3,522ndMost Beautiful Environments: 3,573rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,660thMost Advanced Public Education: 3,721stLargest Welfare Programs: 4,001stSmartest Citizens: 4,093rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,441stLongest Average Lifespans: 4,759thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,254thLargest Publishing Industry: 5,302ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,796thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,953rdMost Cultured: 6,505thMost Pacifist: 6,648thBest Weather: 6,692ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,202ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 7,645thHealthiest Citizens: 7,837thMost Efficient Economies: 8,095thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,925thHighest Average Incomes: 9,126thMost Influential: 9,313thMost Inclusive: 9,425thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 10,818thTop
Highest Economic Output: 12,090thMost Income Equality: 13,222ndSafest: 14,690thMost Corrupt Governments: 15,447thMost Stationary: 16,688th
Most Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionTop
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 3rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionMost Influential: 4th in the regionBest Weather: 4th in the regionMost Cultured: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Developed: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 5th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 6th in the regionTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 7th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 8th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 8th in the regionMost Secular: 8th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 9th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 9th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 9th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 9th in the regionNudest: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 10th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 11th in the regionMost Stationary: 11th in the region

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