The Colony of Scotchpine Republic is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 15.021 billion Scotchpine Republicans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Spirituality, with Industry also on the agenda, while Administration and Law & Order are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.3%.

The very strong Scotchpine Republican economy, worth 776 trillion rhodium lire a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 51,665 rhodium lire, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Voting is voluntary, Scotchpine Republic's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region, punitive tariffs protect local industry, and all major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Scotchpine Republic's national animal is the scotch pine.

Scotchpine Republic is ranked 124,780^th in the world and 9^th in Conifer for Most Cultured, scoring 64 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.