The Crowned Republic of Schwypia is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Prime Minister Alois Hethwyr with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, national health service, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate population of 6.211 billion Schwypians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Milare. The average income tax rate is 79.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Schwypian economy, worth 554 trillion Xollaks a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 89,293 Xollaks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Travellers are often forcibly evicted by torch-bearing mobs, even snitches get stitches, dancing with your first cousin is a misdemeanor, and rioting during the nation's hosting of ORDER caused one million Xollaks of property damage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schwypia's national animal is the Horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Essism.

Schwypia is ranked 11,164^th in the world and 27^th in The Hole To Hide In for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,521.52 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.