The Allied States of Schwertland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Hammer with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 13.962 billion Schwertlandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Education, although Industry, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schwertburg. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Schwertlandian economy, worth a remarkable 4,801 trillion Pfennigs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail and Soda Sales. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 343,881 Pfennigs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The canal flows through the land like a twisty turny thing, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Schwertburg, only Hammer's friends count in the eyes of the government, and foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Schwertlandian Moonshine". Crime is totally unknown. Schwertland's national animal is the Slavionik, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Schwertland is ranked 4,226^th in the world and 191^st in the Rejected Realms for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 7,777.85 on the Hickory Productivity Index.