by Max Barry

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Most Patriotic: 1,243rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,996thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,415th
The Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Schuzenfestein über alles in der Welt
Kurt Schmidt
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population3.195 billion

LeaderKurt Schmidt
FaithLutheran Church


The Empire of Schuzenfestein is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Kurt Schmidt with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, smutty television, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.195 billion Germans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Berlin. The average income tax rate is 63.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient German economy, worth 629 trillion Reichsmarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 196,978 Reichsmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent, neighboring nations are tired of Schuzenfestein's big fish stories, vacationing Germans expect to be treated as royalty, and the government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schuzenfestein's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lutheran Church.

Schuzenfestein is ranked 2,996th in the world and 5th in Institute of Cellulose for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 7,069.88 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Most Patriotic: 1,243rdTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 2,996thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,415thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,544thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,102ndLargest Publishing Industry: 6,772ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 7,106thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,193rdHealthiest Citizens: 7,688thMost Cultured: 7,859thHighest Average Incomes: 7,875thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,181stHighest Poor Incomes: 8,541stLargest Black Market: 8,794thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8,949thMost Developed: 9,265thLongest Average Lifespans: 9,357thLowest Crime Rates: 12,893rdSmartest Citizens: 13,240thTop
Highest Disposable Incomes: 14,153rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14,727thLargest Governments: 15,973rdMost Influential: 16,083rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,025thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 17,036thHighest Food Quality: 18,129thMost Conservative: 18,338thMost Efficient Economies: 18,727thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 19,476thMost Scientifically Advanced: 20,784thMost Advanced Public Transport: 21,337thMost Advanced Public Education: 22,337thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 23,906thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 24,958thMost Authoritarian: 25,167thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 26,650th
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5th in the regionTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 8th in the regionMost Cultured: 10th in the regionMost Patriotic: 10th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 11th in the regionMost Conservative: 12th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 13th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 14th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 15th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: