The Protectorate of Saturn Holst is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its closed borders, barren, inhospitable landscape, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.169 billion Saturn Holstians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 42.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Saturn Holstian economy, worth 673 trillion clocks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 130,222 clocks, with the richest citizens earning 7.3 times as much as the poorest.

Binoculars sales are at an all-time high, the jails are alive with the sound of birdsong, the nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them, and only those who apply can study applied maths. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Saturn Holst's national animal is the filial cannibals, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Saturn Holst is ranked 248,636^th in the world and 2,858^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -112.2 on the Scary Big Number Scale.