The Pink Holy Lucky Christmas of Sateru is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Santa Claus with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.287 billion Satis are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government is dominated by the Department of Industry, although Law & Order, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Environment and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of YMCA. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Sati economy, worth 335 trillion Candy Cane Gold Bars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 102,055 Candy Cane Gold Bars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 921,395 per year while the poor average 1,370, a ratio of 672 to 1.

Recent events in Dàguó have been classified 'for Santa Claus's eyes only', the nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies, dictionary sales have hit an all-time high, and pet rocks are sold by the pound. Crime is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Sateru's national animal is the Bat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Sateru is ranked 202,223^rd in the world and 1^st in The Celestial Order for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 550.97 on the Hickory Productivity Index.