The Incorporated States of Sarzonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Grant Haffner with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, daily referendums, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cheerful population of 34.622 billion Sarzonians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The tiny, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Policy, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Woodstock. The average income tax rate is 6.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sarzonian economy, worth a remarkable 6,811 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 196,736 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination", lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post, abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals, and the military is slashing spending on conventional arms and diverting it to spending on prosthetic arms. Crime is totally unknown. Sarzonia's national animal is the tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Sarzonia is ranked 4,325^th in the world and 14^th in Atlantian Oceania for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 7,700.98 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.