The Incorporated States of Sarzonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Grant Haffner with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, national health service, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, cheerful population of 37.254 billion Sarzonians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The relatively small, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Policy, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Woodstock. The average income tax rate is 11.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sarzonian economy, worth a remarkable 7,341 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 197,058 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners, concert halls sport signs proclaiming "No Shorts, Sandals or Swastikas", elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates, and private pharmacies close down as medicinal drugs are given away freely by the government. Crime is totally unknown. Sarzonia's national animal is the tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Sarzonia is ranked 3,479^th in the world and 5^th in Atlantian Oceania for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 9,483.32 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.