The Republic of San Montagna is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Prime Minister Giorgio Cavallo with an even hand, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, compulsory military service, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.05 billion San Montagnans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sabazio. The average income tax rate is 53.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient San Montagnan economy, worth a remarkable 1,430 trillion Lires a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 236,450 Lires, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars, the people elect the Supreme Court justices directly, murderers frequently escape punishment by claiming they were protecting their honour, and the new one Lire coin also makes a handy throwing-star. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. San Montagna's national animal is the Cool animal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

San Montagna is ranked 64,057^th in the world and 45^th in The Western Isles for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 1,960.28 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.