The Republic of San Jose Guayabal is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Johanna Rivadeneira with a fair hand, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, free-roaming dinosaurs, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 10.621 billion Guayabalenses enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large government is primarily concerned with Education, although Welfare, Environment, and Industry are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Salvador. The average income tax rate is 96.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Guayabalense economy, worth a remarkable 2,046 trillion Lunas a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 192,725 Lunas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture, exceptionally healthy police officers can sprint after crooks for hours on end, new arrivals are asked the location of the Minister of the Interior's birthmark, and citizens are prohibited from raising their voice above thirty decibels in commercial districts. Crime is totally unknown. San Jose Guayabal's national animal is the Condor, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianism.

San Jose Guayabal is ranked 155,370^th in the world and 66^th in Esportiva for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -9.54 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.