by Max Barry

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Most Influential: 99th Largest Agricultural Sector: 145th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 150th
The Mercantile Coalition League of
Father Knows Best State
Wub a lub a dub dub
Emperor Samual I
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population9.272 billion

CapitalSvastian City
LeaderEmperor Samual I

AnimalEmperor Penguin

The Mercantile Coalition League of Samuelstani is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Samual I with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, aversion to nipples, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 9.272 billion Samuelstanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Svastian City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Samuelstanian economy, worth a remarkable 3,848 trillion Puppies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 415,064 Puppies, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,219,669 per year while the poor average 111,280, a ratio of 11.0 to 1.

The government snoops on private internet connections, the family summer vacation has become a thing of the past following the introduction of the year-round school year, many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators, and an IT mega-corporation has a patent pending on the rectangle. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Samuelstani's national animal is the Emperor Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Samuelstani is ranked 11,619th in the world and 85th in Europeia for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 5,886.27 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

Most Influential: 99thLargest Agricultural Sector: 145thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 150thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 225thMost Cultured: 286thHighest Disposable Incomes: 320thLargest Retail Industry: 336thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 486thHighest Average Incomes: 492ndMost Corrupt Governments: 532ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 796thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 873rdMost Beautiful Environments: 914thLargest Black Market: 1,289thMost Developed: 1,357thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,483rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,485thTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 1,565thRudest Citizens: 1,893rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,910thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,925thSmartest Citizens: 1,974thHighest Economic Output: 2,257thLargest Governments: 2,449thMost Devout: 3,108thLargest Publishing Industry: 3,352ndLargest Gambling Industry: 3,402ndLowest Crime Rates: 4,124thMost Efficient Economies: 4,521stLargest Information Technology Sector: 4,855thBest Weather: 4,974thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,136thHealthiest Citizens: 5,769thHighest Poor Incomes: 7,016thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,189thTop
Most Stationary: 7,705thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,099thMost Advanced Public Education: 8,755thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,619thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11,875thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,063rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 13,953rdMost Inclusive: 14,269th
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionMost Cultured: 6th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 9th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 16th in the regionRudest Citizens: 17th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 18th in the regionMost Influential: 20th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 21st in the regionMost Devout: 23rd in the regionMost Developed: 29th in the regionLargest Governments: 31st in the regionMost Stationary: 34th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 35th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 38th in the regionTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 50th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 53rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 54th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 55th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 69th in the regionBest Weather: 70th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 72nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 75th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 78th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 84th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 85th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 85th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Samuelstani was endorsed by The Holy Empire of Worse Ireland.
  • : Following new legislation in Samuelstani, an IT mega-corporation has a patent pending on the rectangle.
  • : Following new legislation in Samuelstani, many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators.
  • : Following new legislation in Samuelstani, the family summer vacation has become a thing of the past following the introduction of the year-round school year.
  • : Following new legislation in Samuelstani, the government snoops on private internet connections.
  • : Following new legislation in Samuelstani, unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves.
  • : Samuelstani was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Samuelstani, labour strikes are routinely squashed by police.
  • : Samuelstani was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector, Highest Poor Incomes, and Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Samuelstani, clergy never mention brand names for fear of losing their government subsidies.


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