by Max Barry

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Waffle Recipe

As served on St. Lucretia’s day.

1. Drink a shot of vodka.

2. In a large bowl, mix together flour, salt, baking powder and sugar; set aside. Preheat waffle iron to desired temperature.

3. Cut the OCTOPUS into pieces. The size is up to you; however while frying, keep in mind that large chunks work better.

4. Drink a shot of vodka.

5. Heat a small amount of olive oil in a pan, with a larger amount of un-healthy regular oil and place it on a medium high heat.

6. Cook the octopus along with BACON to preference point; you may pour some vodka in the process.

7. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs. Stir in the milk, hazelnuts, crushed black-peppermint leafs, butter and vanilla. Pour the milk mixture into the flour mixture; beat until blended.

8. Drink another shot of vodka.

9. Ladle the batter into a preheated waffle iron. Cook the waffles until golden and crisp. Serve immediately.

10. Add a sticky bed of MARMITE and top with the octopus and bacon according to preference.

NOTES: Green-peppermint may also be used and you may drink brandy through the process if there is no vodka, but a capital ship of the glorious Rommandan navy may run out of fresh water but never vodka.

The Holy Empire of Rommanda

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