The Grandiloquent Grand Duchy of Rivienland is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Grand Duke Joseph I with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, zero percent divorce rate, and fear of technology. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.557 billion Rivienlanders are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novenville. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.4%.

The powerhouse Rivienlandian economy, worth 105 trillion guilders a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 67,798 guilders, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

Cigarettes are dead-cheap, policemen regularly conduct midnight raids on closed donut shops to 'collect evidence', the government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters, and government crews work tirelessly to retake the suburbs from organized packs of raccoons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Rivienland's national animal is the Birelian waxwing, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Rivienland is ranked 14,101^st in the world and 137^th in Forest for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 54.17 on the Kitten Softness Rating.