The Federal Republic of RetroBeaners is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by El Don de Paradis with an even hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, daily referendums, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed population of 1.497 billion RetroBeanersians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Paradis. The average income tax rate is 90.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient RetroBeanersian economy, worth 232 trillion Libras a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 155,618 Libras, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds, gaping tourists take long-distance photos of diseased natives on "indigenous peoples" safari tours, and the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. RetroBeaners's national animal is the Monarch, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Freeism.

RetroBeaners is ranked 32,130^th in the world and 1,587^th in The North Pacific for Most Valuable International Artwork, with 5.67 Bank.