by Max Barry

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Highest Crime Rates: 387th Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 406th Most Armed: 417th
The Evil racist misogynist of
Capitalist Paradise
Erant terror dominantium esse
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Republic of Coldwater

Population13.254 billion

LeaderPresident Clarence Norman

CurrencyColdwater Solidum

The Evil racist misogynist of Republic of Coldwater is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Clarence Norman with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, unlimited-speed roads, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 13.254 billion Coldwaterans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Social Policy and Environment not funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shadowville. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Republic of Coldwaterian economy, worth a remarkable 3,425 trillion Coldwater Solidums a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 258,481 Coldwater Solidums, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,368,792 per year while the poor average 25,862, a ratio of 52.9 to 1.

Literally voiceless people are unable to protest when food and water are denied to them, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, pictures of government employees with expensive Pearbooks 'working' on exotic beaches dominate local tabloids, and Republic Of Coldwaterian politicians are often described as having more style than substance. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Republic of Coldwater's national animal is the Hawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Republic of Coldwater is ranked 92,037th in the world and 2,724th in Osiris for Most Politically Free, scoring 53.33 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Highest Crime Rates: 387thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 406thMost Armed: 417thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 436thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 621stLargest Gambling Industry: 654thFattest Citizens: 671stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 813thMost Avoided: 910thHighest Disposable Incomes: 915thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 977thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,080thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,197thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,437thTop
Rudest Citizens: 1,529thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,748thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,160thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,200thLargest Retail Industry: 2,319thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,406thLargest Mining Sector: 2,409thHighest Average Incomes: 2,576thHighest Economic Output: 2,750thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,795thMost Efficient Economies: 2,822ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,017thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,261stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,524thTop
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7,707thMost Pro-Market: 8,091stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,745thNudest: 12,226thMost Secular: 12,299thLargest Populations: 13,387thLargest Black Market: 13,761stLargest Agricultural Sector: 15,030th
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 8th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 10th in the regionMost Armed: 10th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 17th in the regionFattest Citizens: 18th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 20th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 26th in the regionMost Avoided: 27th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 34th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 38th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 40th in the regionRudest Citizens: 45th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 49th in the regionTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 62nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 78th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 84th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 84th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 84th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 87th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 114th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 118th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 119th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 124th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 128th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 129th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 131st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 132nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 199th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 336th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 346th in the regionNudest: 406th in the region

National Happenings

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