by Max Barry

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Largest Populations: 301st Largest Gambling Industry: 361st Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 973rd
The Painters Guild of
Father Knows Best State
Je Maintiendrai la République
Influence
Vassal
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Rembrandt van Rijn

Population35.675 billion

CapitalLeiden
LeaderRembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn
FaithAtheism

Currencygulden
Animalleeuw

The Painters Guild of Rembrandt van Rijn is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn with an iron fist, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, parental licensing program, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 35.675 billion Rembrandt van Rijnians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Industry, although Spirituality and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Healthcare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Leiden. The average income tax rate is 4.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Rembrandt van Rijnian economy, worth a remarkable 5,350 trillion guldens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Gambling, Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 149,988 guldens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Looting and pillaging are now considered vital intelligence-gathering activities, state officials tend to disappear after they forget to salute Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn's portrait, streaming video is considered to be a myth by most citizens, and children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Rembrandt van Rijn's national animal is the leeuw, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Rembrandt van Rijn is ranked 6,957th in the world and 16th in Nederland for Most Devout, with 2,564.1 Prayers Per Hour.

Top
1%
Largest Populations: 301stLargest Gambling Industry: 361stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 973rdLargest Mining Sector: 1,078thHighest Economic Output: 1,343rdHighest Crime Rates: 1,538thTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 1,774thMost Efficient Economies: 1,902ndMost Stationary: 2,064thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,093rdMost Armed: 2,233rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,399thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,863rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,091stMost Avoided: 3,145thHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,191stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,452ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,656thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,902ndMost Subsidized Industry: 6,049thMost Devout: 6,957thMost Influential: 7,383rdHighest Poor Incomes: 7,859thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7,999thFattest Citizens: 8,050thTop
10%
Most Primitive: 8,780thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,119thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 11,584thMost Corrupt Governments: 12,347thHighest Average Incomes: 12,533rd
Top
5%
Largest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 6th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Most Avoided: 7th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 7th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 8th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 9th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 12th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, streaming video is considered to be a myth by most citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, state officials tend to disappear after they forget to salute Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn's portrait.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, looting and pillaging are now considered vital intelligence-gathering activities.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, the government is eagerly awaiting a multi-million gulden payment from a deposed Smalltopian monarch.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, the tax department is having withdrawal symptoms.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, high school band practice is often crashed by technicolor-clad ravers.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Leiden Times is sold out.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, government-sanctioned speed mating is rife with Party-sanctioned abuse of power.
  • : Following new legislation in Rembrandt van Rijn, it is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow.

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