The Kingdom of Primitive Zimbabwe is a colossal, cultured nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, zero percent divorce rate, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.011 billion Primitive Zimbabweans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.9%.
The frighteningly efficient Primitive Zimbabwean economy, worth a remarkable 1,235 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is an impressive 137,089 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 509,517 per year while the poor average 25,917, a ratio of 19.7 to 1.
Every day at 4am Primitive Zimbabweans wake to pray for the sun to rise, the new intercity submarine SSN Eagle Warrior instills terror in claustrophobic travellers, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven, and nighttime sightings of raccoons sporting Circle-A patches and bandanna masks are on the rise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Primitive Zimbabwe's national animal is the eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.
Primitive Zimbabwe is ranked 341,703rd in the world and 4,847th in the Rejected Realms for Nicest Citizens, with 0.19 average smiles per day.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
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Primitive Zimbabwe was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, nighttime sightings of raccoons sporting Circle-A patches and bandanna masks are on the rise.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, the new intercity submarine SSN Eagle Warrior instills terror in claustrophobic travellers.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, every day at 4am Primitive Zimbabweans wake to pray for the sun to rise.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, most people think algebra is something a mermaid wears.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, a teen dramedy has been taken off air because the main villain is a man.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, government officials say that if you close your eyes and wish really hard the budget deficit will go away.
- : Following new legislation in
Primitive Zimbabwe, looting and pillaging are now considered vital intelligence-gathering activities.