The Colonial Kingdom of Postalies is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Jonathan Edler with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, pith helmet sales, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 13.08 billion Postals are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tristad. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Postal economy, worth a remarkable 3,364 trillion dukans a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 257,225 dukans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Teenage male videogamers often suffer repetitive strain wrist injuries, citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm, immigrants are asked to leave their cultural traditions and pride at the border, and the cruise missile launchers on the field hospital roof are purely deterrent in purpose. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Postalies's national animal is the Arctic Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Postalies is ranked 12,357^th in the world and 751^st in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 97.33 law-abiding acts per hour.