by Max Barry

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Most Patriotic: 412thLowest Crime Rates: 462ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 623rd
The Junta of
Psychotic Dictatorship
You are kurwa
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Nuke Control Cards


Population7.683 billion

LeaderMarshal Borys Kościuszko

AnimalWhite Eagle

The Junta of Pol-Lithuania is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Marshal Borys Kościuszko with an iron fist, and notable for its triple-decker prams, national health service, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.683 billion Lechites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Warsaw. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Polish economy, worth a remarkable 2,172 trillion Zloties a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 282,746 Zloties, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Directors of low-budget sci-fi films are flocking to use Warsaw as a backdrop, homes have been banned from having any more than one wheel, extreme hiring regulations mean a job in Pol-Lithuania is often a lifetime appointment, and any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pol-Lithuania's national animal is the White Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Pol-Lithuania is ranked 249,059th in the world and 18th in Third Chad Sovereign for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring -177 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.

Most Patriotic: 412thLowest Crime Rates: 462ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 623rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 649thMost Devout: 823rdMost Corrupt Governments: 951stLargest Governments: 1,115thMost Developed: 1,316thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,437thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,467thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,594thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,716thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,719thHealthiest Citizens: 1,795thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,865thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 2,561stSmartest Citizens: 2,931stMost Efficient Economies: 3,267thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,643rdHighest Poor Incomes: 4,815thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,100thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,656thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,288thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,312thMost Authoritarian: 6,503rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,515thMost Cultured: 6,528thLargest Mining Sector: 6,697thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7,365thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,732ndHighest Economic Output: 7,892ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,994thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 8,238thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,055thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,660thTop
Most Conservative: 12,792ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 13,423rdBest Weather: 13,519thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 15,883rdMost Extreme: 24,655th
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the region

National Happenings

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