by Max Barry

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Largest Agricultural Sector: 564thLowest Crime Rates: 629thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 713th
The Empire of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Communism will never work
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Pol-Lithuania

Population5.005 billion

CapitalWarsaw
LeaderKacper Sobieski
FaithChristianity

CurrencyZłoty
AnimalWhite Eagle

The Empire of Pol-Lithuania is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Kacper Sobieski with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, parental licensing program, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.005 billion Poles are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Warsaw. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Polish economy, worth a remarkable 1,280 trillion Złoties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 255,933 Złoties, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Nine out of ten citizens of Pol-Lithuania answered 'nuclear safety inspector' when asked their occupation, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, and the nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pol-Lithuania's national animal is the White Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Pol-Lithuania is ranked 68,327th in the world and 23rd in Nazi Europa for Safest, scoring 91.48 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 564thLowest Crime Rates: 629thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 713thMost Devout: 1,205thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,225thLargest Governments: 1,546thMost Developed: 1,834thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,924thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,971stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,984thTop
5%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 2,284thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,347thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,630thHighest Average Incomes: 3,191stMost Efficient Economies: 3,530thHealthiest Citizens: 3,608thSmartest Citizens: 3,824thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,210thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,806thMost Authoritarian: 5,843rdMost Advanced Public Education: 7,001stMost Subsidized Industry: 8,469thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,500thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,684thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8,733rdMost Conservative: 8,762ndLargest Publishing Industry: 9,140thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,322ndMost Cultured: 9,863rdLargest Mining Sector: 9,895thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,980thTop
10%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 11,417thMost Advanced Public Transport: 12,006thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,483rdHighest Economic Output: 12,755thLargest Information Technology Sector: 14,247thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 16,642ndMost Extreme: 17,590th
Top
5%
Most Developed: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Healthiest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 6th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 6th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 6th in the regionLargest Governments: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, the nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, nine out of ten citizens of Pol-Lithuania answered 'nuclear safety inspector' when asked their occupation.
  • : Pol-Lithuania lodged a message on the Nazi Europa Regional Message Board.
  • : Pol-Lithuania's influence in Nazi Europa rose from "Page" to "Squire".
  • : Pol-Lithuania was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Cultured.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, intellectual snobbery has the cognoscenti sneering at anyone who doesn't have an opinion on the semiological drift of Umberto Eco's works.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene.
  • : Following new legislation in Pol-Lithuania, top-shelf magazines feature risqué centrefold spreads of ladies' wrists.

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