by Max Barry

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Lowest Crime Rates: 13th Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 24th Most Secular: 27th
The Pragmatic Cynics of
Iron Fist Consumerists
It Could Have Been Worse
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Plain Hopeless

Population14.543 billion



The Pragmatic Cynics of Plain Hopeless is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Gloomheart with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, soft-spoken computers, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 14.543 billion Plain Hopelessians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despair. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Plain Hopelessian economy, worth a remarkable 6,354 trillion Lucks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 436,977 Lucks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,238,721 per year while the poor average 123,194, a ratio of 10.1 to 1.

The citizenship exam requires years of study to actually pass, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order, religious people are committed to mental institutions for treatment, and exceptionally talented workers are praised more than Revolutionary heroes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Plain Hopeless's national animal is the Duck, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Science.

Plain Hopeless is ranked 159,610th in the world and 6,038th in the Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -29.15 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Lowest Crime Rates: 13thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 24thMost Secular: 27thMost Corrupt Governments: 70thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 149thLargest Governments: 170thSmartest Citizens: 170thMost Scientifically Advanced: 216thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 219thLargest Agricultural Sector: 228thMost Advanced Public Education: 280thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 311thLargest Insurance Industry: 320thHighest Average Incomes: 387thHighest Average Tax Rates: 417thMost Advanced Public Transport: 466thMost Pacifist: 484thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 542ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 575thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 644thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 761stHighest Economic Output: 896thLargest Retail Industry: 1,011thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,122ndRudest Citizens: 1,225thMost Efficient Economies: 1,370thSafest: 1,380thTop
Fattest Citizens: 1,754thMost Beautiful Environments: 2,018thMost Stationary: 2,440thLargest Mining Sector: 2,822ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,856thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,341stMost Subsidized Industry: 3,815thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,135thNudest: 4,555thHighest Poor Incomes: 5,336thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7,231stMost Conservative: 7,739thTop
Most Influential: 9,551stLargest Populations: 9,975thLargest Gambling Industry: 11,715thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 15,261st
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 4th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 6th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 7th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 8th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 8th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 8th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 8th in the regionMost Pacifist: 9th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 10th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 12th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 14th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 15th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 15th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 24th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 24th in the regionRudest Citizens: 27th in the regionSafest: 28th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 32nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 34th in the regionMost Stationary: 34th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 43rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 48th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 51st in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 65th in the regionLargest Populations: 69th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 92nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 97th in the regionNudest: 126th in the regionMost Influential: 148th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 152nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 174th in the regionTop
Largest Gambling Industry: 360th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 374th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 397th in the regionMost Conservative: 423rd in the regionMost Developed: 491st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 553rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 553rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Plain Hopeless was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Following new legislation in Plain Hopeless, exceptionally talented workers are praised more than Revolutionary heroes.
  • : Following new legislation in Plain Hopeless, religious people are committed to mental institutions for treatment.
  • : Plain Hopeless was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Plain Hopeless, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order.
  • : Following new legislation in Plain Hopeless, the citizenship exam requires years of study to actually pass.
  • : Following new legislation in Plain Hopeless, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway.
  • : Following new legislation in Plain Hopeless, the richest individuals apparently buy nothing but noodles and toilet paper.
  • : Following new legislation in Plain Hopeless, oxygen is commonly known as 'breathinium'.
  • : Following new legislation in Plain Hopeless, only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile.


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