The Little Caesarate of Pizzaburg is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Charles Entertainment Cheese with an iron fist, and remarkable for its feral children, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.9 billion Pizzabourgeoisie are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, although Spirituality and Public Transport are also considered important, while Environment and Administration aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pineapple-and-Hamburg. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Pizzaburguesque economy, worth 431 trillion slices a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is dominated by the Pizza Delivery industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is an impressive 110,635 slices, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 819,656 per year while the poor average 4,458, a ratio of 183 to 1.

Citizens have to identify all the polar bears in a blizzard photo in order to access their bank account, eight-year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas, Pizzaburguesque police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests, and sanitary products are sold in brown paper at hairdressers' salons. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Pizzaburg's national animal is the anchovy, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Jesus Crust of Latter-Day Sauce.

Pizzaburg is ranked 218,356^th in the world and 1^st in The Pizza Confederation for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 144.62 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.