The Social Marquisate of Pinicada is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Marquês de Pinicada José II with an even hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 8.701 billion Malteses have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Penico. The average income tax rate is 82.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Maltes economy, worth a remarkable 1,317 trillion Bonias a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 151,462 Bonias, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event, X-Files ratings have hit an all-time low, citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes, and the nation's diplomatic missives are now delivered via sniper rifle. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pinicada's national animal is the Gato, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Pinicada is ranked 14,017^th in the world and 3^rd in The Great Monarchical Nations for Lowest Crime Rates, with 93.16 law-abiding acts per hour.