by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 18th Largest Gambling Industry: 30th Most Primitive: 52nd
The Swamp of
Iron Fist Consumerists
It's all ogre now
Shrek
Regional Influence
Eminence Grise
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Swamp of Pikawil is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Shrek with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, barren, inhospitable landscape, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.386 billion laddies are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Welfare and Education aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mitakihara Town. The average income tax rate is 3.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Brogre economy, worth a remarkable 5,316 trillion Onions a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 397,171 Onions, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Customers who are not the epitome of politeness always find themselves at the back of the queue, the government is known to care more about its buildings than its people, atheists on vacation find Ogre's scriptures make useful doorstops, and perverts across the land rejoice after 'sexual harassment' was recently renamed 'persuasive courting'. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Pikawil's national animal is the Donkey, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ogre.

Pikawil is ranked 187th in the world and 1st in A Land Resplendent With Dank Spicy Memes for Most Avoided, scoring 2,876 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 18thLargest Gambling Industry: 30thMost Primitive: 52ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 123rdMost Corrupt Governments: 124thMost Devout: 131stFattest Citizens: 140thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 168thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 169thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 174thMost Avoided: 187thLargest Insurance Industry: 196thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 201stLargest Mining Sector: 211thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 231stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 244thMost Armed: 338thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 365thHighest Average Incomes: 396thHighest Economic Output: 863rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,136thLargest Black Market: 1,209thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,362ndTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 1,855thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,381stLargest Governments: 2,423rdHighest Drug Use: 2,635thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,943rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,731stHighest Crime Rates: 4,528thNudest: 5,436thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,461stLargest Populations: 7,844thRudest Citizens: 8,272ndTop
10%
Most Conservative: 9,073rdMost Extreme: 16,258thMost Authoritarian: 17,739th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Pikawil, perverts across the land rejoice after 'sexual harassment' was recently renamed 'persuasive courting'.
  • : Following new legislation in Pikawil, atheists on vacation find Ogre's scriptures make useful doorstops.
  • : Following new legislation in Pikawil, the government is known to care more about its buildings than its people.
  • : Following new legislation in Pikawil, customers who are not the epitome of politeness always find themselves at the back of the queue.
  • : Following new legislation in Pikawil, commemorative mugs remembering last year's Black Friday Crockery Riots are a best seller this year.
  • : Pikawil's influence in A Land Resplendent With Dank Spicy Memes rose from "Enforcer" to "Eminence Grise".
  • : Pikawil was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Conservative and Highest Drug Use and the Top 10% for Most Extreme and Most Authoritarian.
  • : Following new legislation in Pikawil, woodcutter axes are cited as the most common cause of death amongst Donkeys.
  • : Following new legislation in Pikawil, women who can do math in their head are burned for witchcraft.
  • : Following new legislation in Pikawil, the nation's water should not be ingested while operating heavy machinery.

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